by Motavenda Melchizedek
Note: "This is a work in progress...I am writing, adding to, and editing this piece as I learn more about 'The Law of Attraction' as well as my own core emotions that led to this brutal experience."
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I have come to learn that it was Sharifa's rage at me for not having supported her in destroying her husband that led to the accident. Not her choice to not harm. I can see from here how she moved through that young man as he was looking down and texting behind the wheel, at let us all “have it” for defying her and the rageful spirits with her in their desire to punish and destroy.
I had believed when Sharifa died that she had chosen the light. That she had willed her own death, rather than destroy her husband and his new woman. Now, I know that she left this world in a fury. And I became her target.
I abandoned my life to beings who came into my proximity through my Law of Attraction and all the violence I endured. And I see how I need to re-inhabit my life now. Even though I am scared to death.
.....
A little background on my friend Sharifa and also on how I came to have her animals in my life. This is something I posted in the community here after her death. It felt almost dictated by her.
"The passing of my friend Sharifa....and sanctuary for her furry friends...." Wednesday, June 8, 2011
I would like to let people here in Silver City know that my friend Sharifa sadly and suddenly passed away earlier this week and I am looking for kind and safe homes for her beloved furry friends... two dogs (a small white bijon frise and her elder pit bull/mix friend), three cats (all older around 10 -12 years and healthy) and two birds (finches).
I will post some pictures on line this week....but ask all you lovers of animals to please keep your ears open? And pass on this information if you think of anyone who might give them sanctuary. She loved them so. More than anything, Sharifa loved her animals. And, to me, and to my animals, she was a kind and beautiful and strong and faithful friend. Rare in this world.
She died fighting for the light.
And I will always love and admire her for what she held sacred. She was a warrior. And she was misunderstood. In the end, she chose the light...and with that, came the ultimate sacrifice.
I hope her journey now is wondrous and filled with the highest and most sacred form of divine love. For that is all she ever wanted. And it was her deepest devotion....to create a world where that was possible. And I believe, in the end, she did.
You are welcome to pass on my number to those interested in more information on members of this precious little pack.
...and a warm thank you for your help....from the animal world....where all beings are sacred and innocent and pure....may sweet Sharifa be among the highest and kindest of souls on her journey now...with many a furry friend beside her.
May all that she fought for be hers now to enjoy and take refuge in. May she have that safe and sacred world to dance and play and love in. The world of her dreams. And may she find herself among those who understand such a world and where there is great peace.
I will love you always Sharifa. May we meet again....my high and holy friend. I know the truth of your walk. For I walked beside you.
Know your animals are safe tonight....and will be always....in this world...for as long as I am here.
I honor you sister. I admire your great courage. I weep for the desecration you faced and for the places it led you. I stand in awe of the great work you did here and my heart breaks for your suffering and for how hard this walk was for you on so many days. And I am happy too for all the joy and love you felt here. For the good you knew. For the kindness and the love that you had with those of us lucky enough to enjoy your presence. I am proud to know a soul as good and glorious as yours.
I am humbled.
And I will miss you deeply in the days of great change ahead...on this beautiful earth.... that we loved so much together...this magical earth....that we walked and cried and laughed upon together. For it was a blessing....to be sure.
Your friend always, Moti
I wrote this for a number of reasons. Firstly, I love Sharifa and I wanted to give her a chance to express these things to the community and to also express my own love for her. Secondly, I had promised her that I would do everything in my power to help her along the road of facing and healing the violent energies that controlled her life if she chose to take that path. And she did. She laid down and died rather than destroy when it was the hardest time for her to make such a choice in her whole lifetime.
...
Today I ran into a woman I have known on and off through my years here.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm doing really well, thank you."
"And you?", I asked.
"Oh, you know....life is full of eventful experiences. Anyway, I heard about your "'comeuppance' when I was at a spiritual gathering way back when and tried to connect with you at the hospital but when I called, you had checked out the day before."
"Thank you." I said.
We went on to have an intense positive mirroring exchange about the world of feelings and things we had been working through in relationship to experiences unfolding in our lives. It was a deep good conversation, but I kept feeling this part of me nagging at me to ask her what she meant by "comeuppance." So, I asked. "I want to ask you something you said a while ago...when you said me being hit was my 'comeuppance' what did you mean by that? Where you saying that I deserved to be hit?
"No. I meant...your 'comeuppance' means....well...like you are rising to the top and something happens to take you down.
I thought to myself, "How strange. She would see me being hit by a car and having both of my legs broken and my nose smashed as a "taking down" of me for "rising to some sort of 'forbidden heights'". So not where I live emotionally.
She and I share an Irish heritage filled with destruction of children and intolerance of feelings or of breaking free from darkness.
I am glad I asked her. I am glad too that I spoke to it. I explained to her more of what had taken place. And I feel, in this moment as I write these words, a strong sadness that anyone would see such violence against me in the light that she described. That I somehow "deserved" it for being who I am.
"It's strange", I told her, "what really happened." And it was. The way it totally related back to my father and the murderous spirits who moved freely and at will through him toward me and my sisters when we were children. And how that led me to even know Sharifa and to stand paralyzed beside her for so many years. And how all of that ultimately led me to be there that moment to be hit by a car driving at full speed head on because I had promised I would go to the ends of the earth to help her in her attempts to move out of that condition and onto the path of light and love.
In the months before her passing she had told me she was probably going to "put down" all of her animals. I was so disturbed at the sight of her plans to ramp things up and commit over "animal sacrifice."
I must say here...as a side note....that it is really overwhelming to me these days to face how all the people who have "loved" me and sought out my love in this life, have carried such hatred right beside it. Everyone.
When this woman today referred to me being injured so violently as my "comeuppance" right to my face, wow. That hurt. Because it so was not my "comeuppance" and the fact that she would see me in such an untrue light as having "deserved" something so viscous when in fact it was an act of friendship and me following through on my promise to Sharifa to help her....and when she died rather than kill her husband and his new lover and all of her beloved pets, that ended up entailing me facilitating the remnant of the violence she had previously set in motion on the earth and that is what actually took place in that moment when that kid slammed into us.
It was picture perfect in its clarity the instant the impact occurred. Even though Sharifa had been dead for months by then and it was the farthest thing from my mind.
It is scary to face....to realize...how so many people I have stood so opening in love with....really despise the sight of my soul. It is a huge thing for me to really look at. Just how hated I am...for being myself. For loving in the way I do. It is the same people who have come to me for love....to be nurtured in their effort to feel the feelings and live in emotional truth...it is they who hold...who harbor....such violent, jealous wishing to see me ruined. It has been a very unsafe world for me to exist in so openly. And I have. And I do. And I will stand in love...and continue to open myself to divine love...because that is where I want to exist. No matter how hated I am for it.
I become more and more aware each day of how I need to learn how to exist in the midst of an intolerant world without engaging with these energies I see so clearly in others. I look forward to a time...I feel is coming soon for me....where I will discover the answers to this. I will learn how to no longer feel threatened or afraid of people who carry energies that oppose all I hold near and dear to my heart.
There have been times when I have had no food for myself or my animals...when nothing would open up at all....and had a "friend" who makes so much money a month she "doesn't know what to do with it"....with not even a house payment to cover...who kicked me to the curb and pissed on me and told me I needed to face my issues around manifestation. There is so much cruelty in the new age movement. So much that takes place there that is brutal...and called "loving". I would never let a friend of mine go hungry and I certainly would not shame and degrade them in the midst of terrifying circumstances. But, I obviously would have a "friend" in my life who would do this to me. And that is one of the things I consider these days.
It's ironic in ways. I mean the pinnacle for her is polo clubs, $100,000 cars, pedicures and such. And, I am at the bottom of "her" world. A sort of "untouchable". In need of spiritual learning. When, in fact, none of those things are what I desire at all. There is truth in the fact that I have still not yet (now years later) accessed laws of manifestation to fulfill my deepest desires simply because I had never seen them presented on this earth in any way that was pure or that felt true to me. And, for some reason, I set it up that way deep within my own soul. Now, just weeks ago, as I came across the "Teachings of Divine Love", presented here in such purity, I am certain I will learn within these teachings all I need to know to bring my life into balance in the areas of sustenance and abundance.
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